THE RELAPSE...

After I returned from Puerto Rico, I began to experience changes in my body. After coping with my condition (Lupus) successfully for months with nothing more than the usual day-to-day discomfort, it started to rear its ugly head once again.

First it started with the usual muscle aches becoming more constant and more limiting. Though I had successfully completed a 5K just weeks before, exercising on the elliptical or treadmill became increasingly harder. The usual fatigue that was formerly remedied with a 20-30 minute nap suddenly became nearly unbearable forcing me to sleep for hours at a time only to awake feeling like I had not slept at all.

I did what any hard-working, active woman would do... I denied anything was wrong. In fact, November had been an extremely busy travel month for me. I HAD been going non-stop since the second week of the month. Maybe it was the sun exposure in Puerto Rico or maybe it was the time zone changes and constant flying (I went to San Francisco two weeks later). Maybe it was the extra driving I had been doing for work or the temperature change... I didn't want to admit that I was feeling worse than usual.

The symptoms started to manifest themselves elsewhere. My hair started to fall out in clumps all over again. The "Lupus Hairline" became more pronounced. There were days where I could not get out of bed from the fatigue. My elbows and knees started to lock up totally and I started experiencing hip pain. Finally, the first week in December, I had a small seizure. I was in a doctor's office (for work) and woke up stretched out on an exam table. Though I didn't remember it, I was apparently speaking with an administrator in an office where mid-sentence, my speech slurred and I passed out. Against the advice of the staff in the facility that day, I chose not to go to the emergency room but rather made an appointment with my Rheumatologist who confirmed that my remission was over. Lupus had returned with a vengance.

I was angry. I was sad. I felt hopeless and out of control. Nevertheless, I was thankful. I could have been driving when I had the seizure or could have something worse. Lupus was just a little inconvenient, and could be treated so I made the decision to (much to my dismay) take the drugs and really focus on getting myself back on track...