Surgery Day

I arrived at the facility at 7:00 in the morning and did not leave until 6:00 that evening. So I had 11 hours (during which I was conscious) to contemplate if I was doing the right thing.

The procedure starts with the staff numbing the scalp area with a local anesthetic (that was the worst part) and giving you oral antibiotics and a Valium to calm your nerves. I was asleep within 30 minutes. The doctor then selected a donor site and cleared it for removal. They had to strap me down for this part. I nearly cried when I saw my lovely locks fall to the floor as she SHAVED them off!!! The doctor then took a scalpel and cut a graft from the donor site. Did I mention I was conscious during the entire procedure? I didn't know I was bleeding until I felt it running down my neck. Anywho... here are some pics of the donor site (taken after the entire procedure).

After the graft was taken, I played the waiting (and sleeping) game. I watched movies and had lunch while the technicians extracted single hairs from the donor tissue and prepared them for implantation into my hairline. The doctor then poked 2100 individual holes in my hairline with a tool and placed the extracted hairs into these holes one by one. It was by far the most grueling process I had ever endured (thank goodness for anesthesia!!).

11 hours later, I arrived at the results above. I was tired and extremely numb, but excited at the same time. Now all I had to do was wait. The next few weeks I would endure scabbing and healing. Then I would return to my pre-surgery hairline as the implanted hairs would fall out and slowly be replaced with newly growing hair. It would take patience though. Normally, the results aren't noticeable for at least 6 months. So, I was leaving 2009 as a larvae and would be maturing and growing within a cocoon for about 6 months. I decided to take the time of physical healing to explore myself and nurture the person within. 2010 would be my year for inner growth and outward manifestation. I was ready to become the new me!!!

The Decision

As December approached, I had developed a medication regimen that was helping ease the symptoms of my condition, but I was determined to come off the meds-especially the steroids. I was also determined to do something about my hairline once and for all. Yes, Lupus had affected my hairline, but I also knew that years of abuse (relaxing, weaving, corn rowing, braiding) had taken its toll on my hairline and had done permanent damage. It had been over a year since I had engaged in any of these detrimental practices, and the fact of the matter was my hair was NOT growing back and it wasn't going to. I was sick of headbands and was constantly embarassed that my hairline started at my ears. Thus, I decided to embark on a surgical intervention. I opted for a hair transplant at Bosley.



These are photos of my pre-surgery consultation. As you can see, parts of my hairline were completely bald and were not coming back without a miracle. Trust me... the biggest challenge was trying to get the caucasian doctors and staff members to "understand" my hair. Of course, they all told me that the SL's were causing my hair loss which I knew wasn't true. They also asked me to take them out prior to procedure day which I thought was hilarious. Thankfully, they had worked on a patient with traditional locs, but I had to educate them on the difference between Sisterlocks and traditionals (i.e. being smaller and lighter which did not contribute to damage), and why they weren't as damaging as braids (no heavy extensions attached to my natural hair). After MANY hours of education on both my part and the staff's part, we agreed that this was the best option and I scheduled an appointment. I am currently waiting on the "before" pictures from the procedure day, but this would be a life changing experience for me.

THE RELAPSE...

After I returned from Puerto Rico, I began to experience changes in my body. After coping with my condition (Lupus) successfully for months with nothing more than the usual day-to-day discomfort, it started to rear its ugly head once again.

First it started with the usual muscle aches becoming more constant and more limiting. Though I had successfully completed a 5K just weeks before, exercising on the elliptical or treadmill became increasingly harder. The usual fatigue that was formerly remedied with a 20-30 minute nap suddenly became nearly unbearable forcing me to sleep for hours at a time only to awake feeling like I had not slept at all.

I did what any hard-working, active woman would do... I denied anything was wrong. In fact, November had been an extremely busy travel month for me. I HAD been going non-stop since the second week of the month. Maybe it was the sun exposure in Puerto Rico or maybe it was the time zone changes and constant flying (I went to San Francisco two weeks later). Maybe it was the extra driving I had been doing for work or the temperature change... I didn't want to admit that I was feeling worse than usual.

The symptoms started to manifest themselves elsewhere. My hair started to fall out in clumps all over again. The "Lupus Hairline" became more pronounced. There were days where I could not get out of bed from the fatigue. My elbows and knees started to lock up totally and I started experiencing hip pain. Finally, the first week in December, I had a small seizure. I was in a doctor's office (for work) and woke up stretched out on an exam table. Though I didn't remember it, I was apparently speaking with an administrator in an office where mid-sentence, my speech slurred and I passed out. Against the advice of the staff in the facility that day, I chose not to go to the emergency room but rather made an appointment with my Rheumatologist who confirmed that my remission was over. Lupus had returned with a vengance.

I was angry. I was sad. I felt hopeless and out of control. Nevertheless, I was thankful. I could have been driving when I had the seizure or could have something worse. Lupus was just a little inconvenient, and could be treated so I made the decision to (much to my dismay) take the drugs and really focus on getting myself back on track...

The Saga Continues...

After the "Great Whack Job" of June 2009, I struggled heavily with my love/hate relationship with my hair. Never being one to like short hair on myself, I found myself experiencing varying episodes of low self esteem. Good Hair Days or Bad Hair Days were no longer in my control, and I was forced to just let my hair do what it was going to do. Thankfully, as time progressed, I began to experience what it felt like to live the freedom of a chemical-free lifestyle. My full appreciation came to fruition during a vacation to the Carribean in November 2009. This was the first time I was truly able to enjoy a vacation without worrying about my hair. It felt amazing to be able to jump in the ocean or pool without enduring 3 hours of repair work afterwards. I was able to live an active lifestyle without the constant worry of my hair "going back" to its natural state. I had finally fully accepted my hair. Little did I know, this newfound joy would be short-lived.

Looking Back...

As promised, I have returned to blogging after a rather trying 2009. I continued to struggle with my hairline and transitioning for the remainder of the year often making headbands a staple wardrobe item /hair accessory. I would soon re-evaluate the value of vanity in the coming months.